PeteBeat !

I was out sick yesterday. I thought I had rabies but it turned out I was just hung over from the night before.

For a hypochondriac, contracting a fatal disease must be like winning the lottery.

When I call in sick, it irritates my when I get my boss's voice mail. I've worked very hard on my sick voice, and to not be able to hear the sympathy in his voice is quite a letdown.

I have always been unlucky in love. My first crush was my third grade teacher. I wrote her a love poem. She gave it back to me with a frowny face.



I am told that among teachers today, smiley faces and frowny faces are discouraged because they may give children lower self-esteem than they already possess naturally. If one draws faces at all, they must be strictly neutral, without the slightest hint of expression, like a guard at the Tower of London only without the amusing hats.

I am relieved that the frowny face's tyranny has come to an end, except on the internet, where under his alternate guises of :-< and :-( he continues to spread disapproval throughout the world.

Another hurricane is tearing across the state today, a stark reminder of how entertaining Nature can be. Is there anything more amusing than a panicked TV weatherman in 100 mph winds screaming his report as trailer homes roll behind him like tumbleweeds ? I think not.

Let us not forget the carnival-like atmosphere of a good tornado. I find the tornado drill position - kneeling, head to the ground with your arms flung over it - so amusing that I sometimes assume it spontaneously, even when there is no tornado, in meetings or waiting in line at the bank.